Friday, April 11, 2008

First Week of No Slurpee


A big year in the history of the world.

Vietnam. Maple Leafs Win The Stanley Cup. Laws against Interracial Marriage are abolished.

And the slurpee was invented and sold by 7-11.

Truly a great year.

I do have a problem though.


I don't understand how crappy Winnipeg can be the Slurpee Capital of the World?

Seriously. That place sucks. Have you ever been there? I don't want to offend anyone from there (it's not your fault, you can't control where you're raised...I forgive you). I've actually gotten into a fight with some stranger on the street about how much Winnipeg blows. If you want the story ask me. It's interesting and I come off very tough sounding.

I was only there for two days. Two of the grossest, bug bitten miserable days of my life. Is that why you suckers drink so much slurpee? Is that the only thing keeping half the population of Winnipeg from offing it's self? If that's the case, well then I'll let you keep the title.

I just think Edmonton deserves the title. Now that we've stolen the title of "Highest Murders Per Capita" (I'm not bragging or anything), I think this City should work on stealing "Slurpee Capital of the World".

Come on Deadmonton, get your act together. If we could maybe cut the amount of the energy we invest in murdering people and invest it into Slurpee drinking, the world would be a better place.

In other news, I'm not looking forward to this warm weekend. I was kind of expecting April to suck weather wise ("April Showers" my arse), so that this Sacrifice would be that much easier. But nope. Mother Nature is apparently betting against me. You'd think she'd be happy since I won't be purchasing any plastic slurpee cups, but no. She has to be a bitch about it. Atleast warm weather means I can walk around Whyte Ave with all the scenesters enjoying...something that's not a slurpee. Damn :(

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