The Hyphen

Last night, while out at the bar with a couple of my friends, our waitress tested me.

She said, as she conversed with our table, "My family is Scottish..." and I refrained from looking shocked. Shocked because she's a POC (Person of Colour) or perhaps you prefer the term Visibly Monitory. She said it with all the casualness in the world and because, so many times, have I said I'm Native and people look stunned and in disbelief, I wanted to respond with a casual acknowledgment of her statement.

I'll admit, sometimes I like when people look stunned because I know it's surprising to some people since I'm so pale. But I've resented when people didn't believe me or questioned it. No, I'm not trying to punk you. No, I'm not lying. Yes, here is my treaty card as proof. Sure, go ahead and decipher my facial features to see if you can find my Native heritage. It's cool.

Side by side comparison to make it easier on you

In the past, Mixed Race was sometimes looked on as a solution to a problem. For example, A.O Neville, the Chief Protector of Aborigines in Australia until 1940 and made well known by the movie "Rabbit Proof Fence", systematically enforced the practice of removing "Half Caste" Aborigines from their parents in order to lessen their contact with other Aborigines and encourage "biological absorption". I look in the mirror and wonder...have I been biologically absorbed? But...that can't be because, although I look white, I identify much more with being Native. But, perhaps Mr. Neville would've thought that I had been biologically absorbed successfully as most would never guess my Native heritage unless they knew what to look for.

Then I think of it from the other perspective. Has my Native DNA tainted my Caucasion DNA? Is there no redemption of my lineage now that I am Mixed Race? Is this a case of the One Drop rule? Honestly, I don't care. But there are people who cared about these things and still do. It was not that long ago when governments and society were trying to figure out where Mixed Race people fit. In fact, many of the decisions made by yesteryear's racists, white supremacists and eugenicists are still affecting People of Colour and their right's today. For example, the issue of Virginia Natives trying to gain recognition as a tribe. Even my own treaty rights rested on a very precarious balance as one of the only reasons I got them was due to my mom being Caucasian and my dad being Native. Native women and their children lost their treaty rights when they "married out". This was amended in 1985 (the year of my birth) but still affects many people, especially their grandchildren who don't get treaty rights or status despite the amendment.

One of my favourite insights into being Mixed Race is the short film by Vin Diesel called Multi-Facial, which deals with him struggling at auditions to be what they expect him to be. I have included it (in two parts) below:





I'm not an actress. I don't face these challenges professionally but I think many people of Mixed Race deal with the reality of not filling the role you are expected to fill. Either being too this or not enough of that and society looking at you and trying to figure out what stereotype is more fitting for you. Personally, I enjoy not fitting into any of molds that have been cast for me. When I catch someone off guard because I am paler than they thought a Cree person would be, I am happy. I've made them question their own reality by introducing them to mine. And last night, I was happy to be on the other side of that interaction when the waitress made me question my own preconceived notions.

Why I Vote

Did you know we're having an election here in Canada? Well...we are! May 2nd!

This is going to be a short entry but I just wanted to a write a little something.

I don't care why you vote, who you vote for or how you get there. You could drive a Hummer, throwing Styrofoam cups out the window and blasting Miley Cyrus all the way there and vote for anyone. That's cool. You know why? Cause I'm just glad you voted.

But I wanted to explain why voting is important to me.

It wasn't that long ago that someone in my position didn't get to vote in the election. I'm not talking about being a woman. Women had the right to vote in Canadian elections in 1919. What is more disturbing to me is knowing that it wasn't until 1960 that aboriginals finally got the right to vote. In fact, before 1960, if a native person wanted to vote they had to give up their treaty rights and their Indian Status to do so.

I listen to music from the 1960s! I watch shows from the 1960s! I own CLOTHES from the 1960s! The 1960s was not that long ago. It is insane to me that within many of my relative's lifetimes, they were legally not allowed to vote.

Why is voting important to me? Besides all the obvious reasons, it's because I know that it wasn't that long ago when my family and ancestors was denied the right to cast a ballot. Denied the right to control their future. How many people's voices were lost in every election before 1960? How many chose to have their voices heard and lost their treaty rights to do so?

Women and children first

I think we're all familiar with the phrase, "Women and children first", also known as the "Birkenhead Drill". It's a maritime tradition (though, not a law) that in the event of a disaster, women and children get priority when loading up the life boats. Though it's been around since at least 1860 it became more well known after the sinking of the Titanic.

Now, with the US Government voting on whether or not to defund Planner Parenthood, "Women and children first" is taking on a whole new meaning. The sinking ship is now the US and instead of trying to save those vulnerable to the recession, it's kicking them in the fucking teeth. Or, as Nancy Pelosi put it, "it's the most comprehensive and radical assault on women's health in our lifetime."

Great interpretation of the events happening in the US

I'm not American. I'm not 100% educated on sexual reproductive laws in the US. But reading about all the politicians who are launching this attack on women's rights in the US is frustrating the hell out of me. How does cutting funding to a program that provides check ups, birth control and, yes, even abortions, help decrease the deficit? By cutting jobs and cutting access to products and services that prevent unplanned pregnancies and prevent or help detect sexual health issues, the deficit will only grow. Sure, they may see an immediate gain but it will only take a few years for that gain to reverse. It will reverse as more health issues go undetected for longer like cancer and STIs and the government finds themselves paying for it in the long run.

You have a choice...until they try to take that away too.

I keep picturing the US as a sinking ship in the ocean...and instead of offering up a seat in the lifeboat, I see politicians throwing the women and children overboard, hoping against hope that this last minute jettison will lighten the load up long enough so that the ship doesn't sink.

It's women and children first, alright. First to the chopping block.

Godzilla vs. Titantic...I knew it!

I had to post this last picture because I was getting bitchy thinking about the whole stupid "Let's take away women's rights but pretend it's a financial issue instead of just an oppressive regime to pander to our conservative constituents" topic.

"To take your chance in the thick of a rush, with firing all about,
Is nothing so bad when you've cover to 'and, an' leave an' likin’ to shout;
But to stand an’ be still to the Birken’ead drill is a damn tough bullet to chew,
An’ they done it, the Jollies - 'Er Majesty’s Jollies - soldier an' sailor too!
Their work was done when it 'adn’t begun; they was younger nor me an' you;
Their choice it was plain between drownin' in 'eaps an' bein' mopped by the screw,
So they stood an' was still to the Birken'ead drill, soldier an' sailor too!" - Rudyard Kipling

Goals

I know it's traditional to have goals and resolutions at the beginning of the year but I've always believed one should be making goals constantly and hopefully be achieving them on a consistent basis as well.

These aren't goal for the year 2011. They are just simply goals for my life. It's not about feeling bad for who I am currently and needing to change that. I love my life and I love who I am. I'm just aware of the areas that I could improve and, for one reason or another, haven't.

So, without further ado, here are my Goals.

1. Recycle. I have the means. I have the know-how. It's time I get serious about it
2. Get my learners license. Being able to drive means camping and IKEA trips
3. Work out more often or...like...at all. I pay high rent to have access to a gym and pool. Time to start using it
   
4. Start a secondary blog - food/fashion/whatever. One with a very specific direction
5. Don't let the kitchen get insanely messy
   
6. Be on time for work 4/5 days a week
   
7. Start carrying change in my pocket to give to homeless people but also start donating more
8. Join a group/team/association
   
9. Get rid of 40% of my clothes. I have too many that I only wear once a year
10. Get some plants for around the house
11. Plant lots of herbs this summer
12. Take more risks
13. Finish upgrading
14. Apply for University
15. Play "Just Dance 2!" more often haha
16. Keep making new friends and discovering old ones
17. Wear red/yellow/orange/green more often
18. Watch more classic movies

Yay for skinny chicks who like baggy clothes

If it weren't for the baggy, boho trend, I wouldn't be able to shop at stores like H&M or Anthropologie. These stores, whom I both love dearly (though Anthro is stupid expensive, so I only love when it's on sale) do not cater to my size (Dress size US 22) but thanks to loose fit and draping styles, I can finally find a few cool items.



When something meant to be baggy on a skinny girl fits me perfectly, I am always reminded of the above scene from "The Simpsons".

It takes a lot of hunting but it's totally worth it. Of course, I can shop online but I never know how something is going to fit until I try it on.

If it's dreamy, romantic or dainty - odds are I will LOVE it.

Anthropologie

As time goes on, I find I'm actually not shopping at the stores that are suppose to cater to my size. I haven't bought anything from Addition Elle in over a year and it's no wonder. They keep pumping out the same, shapeless, safe crap. I use to love them back when there was nothing else to choose from, because shopping there wasn't a struggle. But, I find, as my tastes become more defined and lean more towards my bright and eccentric side, I have less in common with whoever Addition Elle is marketing too.

This is about as *edgy* as Addition Elle gets

I know it's old fashioned but I have a hard time buying online. I'm sure every woman in every size range has this issue but I absolutely need to try on. I need to walk around in something, see how it hangs, how it fits, how it compliments. So, as happy as I am that stores like H&M and Forever21 are branching out to include plus sizes online, I don't think I'll start doing cartwheels until I see those sizes in stores in my city. Besides, often times those plus size online only deals don't even ship to Canada.

In the end, I find myself in a niche. With shops like Penningtons, Addition Elle (and their "fashion tops") and Cotton Ginny failing to meet the needs of a plus size shopper who doesn't want to look like a soccer mom but instead wanting to look like the young, concert going, eclectic girl that I am.

Domino Dollhouse party dress

I am not completely anti-online. Torrid has lots of options from different styles and I've ordered with success from them more than once. A new favourite, who I have yet to order from, is Domino Dollhouse. Funky and bright, there isn't a single bashful item in their store. While so many plus size stores seem to encouraging hiding your body and bringing as little attention to yourself as possible (henceforth known as Chameleon Clothing), there seems to be some designers and sellers who aren't afraid of being looked at like my style icon, Beth Ditto. It's not that I want to dress like Beth Ditto, just that I think everyone should feel as comfortable in their own skin as she does.

Who rocked it better?

I don't plan on my blog being strictly about fashion. I love far too many things to devout myself to writing only about that. However, it has been the theme lately, hasn't it? Honestly, I just write about whatever strikes my fancy randomly. Sometimes those are long, ranting posts about issues such as feminism and sexuality. Other times, I just want to look at nice clothes.

So, without further delay, I want to ask you something: Who rocked this dress better?

Carina Roitfeld



or Florence Welch



These are both from Givency's 2011 Spring/Summer collection. I am trying not to be biased (I absolutely love Florence and The Machine) but I think I do like her dress more. I just wish it was a crisp white like Carine's instead of being all smoke stained looking, as if it had been sitting on a rack in the sun of a smokey old house for a decade. Perhaps that is suppose to be champagne colour. Perhaps the lighting is bad. I just know it looks off.

What do you think? Maybe you hate them both (maybe swans aren't your thing haha)

"Carrots..."

If you ever read/watched Anne of Green Gables, you might get the reference in my title of this post. I am a big book nerd. I'm not one of those people who are constantly reading though. I sometimes go months without reading and than I start 3-4 books all at the same time. I am reading "The Color Purple", "Titus Andronicus" and "The House of Leaves" right now. I switch books depending on my mood.

You know what else I like to switch? My hair! I've been different shades of brown for over a year now and I figured it was about time to do something a little more interesting. I work in an office (boring) and cannot dye my hair any super cool colours (lame), so I try to dye it crazy enough that I love it but not so crazy that I get fired.

This is the hair colour I started with. Check out the sweet "geek wall" behind me.

I love red hair. I date a red head. I want red headed kids. I can single out a red head in a crowd and whether they are hot or not. So, it's only natural that all this red hair envy manifests itself in me routinely dying my hair red.

It burns us!

I've been bleaching and dying my hair at home since I was in grade 5. First colour I went was electric blue and from than on, I was hooked.

I try not to bleach it too often as I don't want to fry it. I wonder, each time I do it, "is this the time my hair finally just falls out". So far, no.

My hair only ever goes yellow. I'd have to get it professionally done with lots of toner and even than, it'd be an ash dirty blonde. It must be the native in me. Dark eyes and dark hair. Are you ready for the finale?

I love a good change, even if it's a superficial one. This picture doesn't do it justice though. In the light...my hair is orange. Just like carrots :P