Dreamcatcher Nightmare

I like how the dress really compliments her hair colour and the necklace highlights her incredible white privilege.

My friend and I always laugh when we see dreamcatchers hanging from people's rear-view mirrors. We laugh and laugh and laugh until we cry tears of frustration. Maybe you don't know why this is ridiculous but those of us in the know do and we're here to educate you. Dreamcatchers are meant to catch dreams, so unless you sleep in your car or plan on falling asleep at the wheel, they make no sense in your fucking car. And hey...if you sleep in your car, I ain't judging. 

It's weird having my culture be en vogue. It's disturbing seeing skulls with Native headdresses on t-shirts for sale at Urban Outfitters. 

I'm real happy you were able to follow that Trail of Tears right on down to your 

local mall and pick up that shirt.

This is dangerous combination of hipster racism and white privilege. Try telling people they shouldn't be wearing these things. Tell them it's offensive. Tell them it's straight up disrespectful and they will retort about how they respect the culture and that is *why* they're wearing it. Yeah...I'm sure all the First Nations people who died through acts of genocide were hoping someone would wear their sacred and ceremonial headdresses to a music festival. That was probably their last wish. 

"Please...promise me that one day chicks in bikinis will wear my culture's traditional and ceremonial clothing to a Bon Iver concert." - Said by no chief, ever. (Pictured: Miniconjou chief Spotted Elk, dead, after Wounded Knee Massacre)

Look into offside distance? Check

Appear "stoic"? Check

Wear cheaply made, offensive "Native" apparel? Check

Congratulations. You're a racist.

After looking at pictures upon pictures of "Native Inspired" garb, I'm actually beginning to wonder if I'm Native at all. I don't own any feathers, I never stand in fields and I usually show emotions on my face. Shit, you guys. I better get on Etsy right now and see if these white girls can help me figure out how to get back in touch with my tribal roots. I'll call my cousins up and let them know we've been doing it wrong this whole time.

Before you reply to defend your racism and tell me why it's ok to steal from other cultures, please see if your answers are on this bingo card.

 

(Made by elusis)

Tall Girl Observations

Tall girls are taller than all the girls and almost all the boys in elementary and Jr. high school. Some of the boys catch up to them in high school.

Tall girls sometimes have to dress a few years "older" than everyone else in their grade because none of the young kid clothes will fit. They're all too short or small.

Tall girls look the grade 6 teacher in the eye, even as he towers over the rest of her classmates.

Tall girls are told "You're tall enough" by insecure people whenever they wear heels. This starts in Jr. high school and never ends.

Tall girls sometimes make friends with the few other tall girls they meet and trade clothes for the first time in their life.

Tall girls get hit on by grown ass dudes when they are in their early teens. Sometimes this is thrilling and sometimes this is creepy.

Tall girls get told to "act your age" when they are acting their age, because everyone assume they're much older than they actually are.

Tall girls sometimes get asked to model.

Tall girls get asked if they want to join the basketball team at their new school.

Tall girls learn that short dresses for average height girls make really good long shirts for tall girls.

Tall girls stop trick or treating during Halloween a couple years before all their short/average height friends.

Tall girls don't mean to wear belly shirts sometimes. It just so happens that most shirts turn into belly shirts when you're tall.

Tall girls have cold ankles sometimes cause pants aren't usually long enough.

Tall girls don't get asked for ID very often when they go out.

Tall girls (who are hetero, single and looking) wish guys wouldn't feel the need to lie about their height in their online dating profiles.

Tall girls can always find their friends in crowded places, as they just peer over the masses.

Tall girls sometimes get called "snobby" if they stand up straight and proud.

A Cunty Post

"A woman who shaves her vagina looks pre-pubescent."

Have you ever heard that phrase? Read it in an article, perhaps? Maybe in the comments section?

I have. More than once. I've heard it and I've read it and I'm not fuckin' buying it.

The first time someone said that to me, I was 16 years old. Every time I've come across this phrase, it was a man saying it but it could be any gender saying it. It's usually a person who probably considers themselves liberal, open minded and perhaps even a feminist. They have the best of intentions. They think they are striking out against this "trend" of shaved pussies. They think they are supporting woman by making their opinions known on the porn popular shaved pussy.

Well, fuck that. I assure you, it is not empowering to broadcast your opinion about grooming habits to a whole gender of people.

Calling a grown ass woman "pre-pubescent" is insulting. I wouldn't walk up to a man with a shaved face and call him "pre-pubescent". Why? Because he's a MAN. Regardless of how much hair he has on his face, his chest, his arms or his goddamn balls. I wouldn't go up to a lady with A-cup breasts and tell her she looks "pre-pubescent. Why? Because she's a WOMAN. And I assure you, when my clothes come off for any man I sleep with and they see my body, regardless of how much hair I choose to keep or not keep on my pussy, they know I'm a grown woman. They do not need that little signal to tell them so.

Comparing a WOMAN to a young girl because she chooses to shave/wax her vagina is inherently misogynistic because you are still telling a woman what she has to look like, what she has to be and do to be considered a woman in your definition.

We're allowed to have our own dislikes, likes, fetishes, turn ons and turn offs. But don't deny someone ownership of their body. Just accept that they are not your "type" and move on. Do not preach about why that "type" is unacceptable, repulsive or unattractive.

Men: I like facial hair but if you have a smooth shaven face you are still a post-pubescent, full grown man to me. And if you want to shave your balls, that's your business.

Ladies: Do whatever the hell you want. Do it because you want too. Because it pleases you. And don't let someone turn your pubic hair choice into a goddamn soapbox. Just let it be your box.

Attawapiskat Crisis

Attawapiskat is a northern Ontario reserve that is going through a major housing crisis right now. They've declared a state of emergency and so far, the Government's reaction has been to send someone to figure out where the money went and offer ultimatums. While I know for a fact that some reserves suffer from corruption in the band office, I find it astonishing that in -30 C weather, with families in tents and shacks without proper isolation, running water, heat or electricity, Harper's government thinks the appropriate response is to send someone in to do some accounting and auditing.

This is not a wood shed. Families are living in there with no heat, plumbing, isolation or electricity.

If you want to know where the money went, this blog offers an easily understandable assessment based on facts and not conjecture: âpihtawikosisân

But, I'm not necessarily surprised. When a dossier of possibly controversial quotes from Harper's team was accidentally leaked, I instantly combed through it to find out his views of Native people and what I found was a man resenting our treaty rights.

"What the new 'rights' definition means is precisely the opposite of that. It's now being turned into the right of one particular group [Native People] to demand things of another, which by their very nature can't be reciprocated." - Stephen Harper from Two Wrongs Make a "Right" 11/01/99

What pisses me off most about this quote is that it could easily describe the situation Native people found themselves in when settlers came here and demanded land, demanded they move to small, undesirable tracts of lands and refused to give them the same rights as other citizens. Does that not sound like "...one particular group to demand things of another..."? I've mentioned before, but it bares repeating, that one of those rights was simply voting in Federal elections. Native people could not vote until 1960 without having to give up their treaty rights or renounce their Native status.

I can't seem to read one single article about Attawapiskat without coming across hundreds of comments offering their own personal solutions to the Native "problem". Some comments are well meaning but half-hearted but most comments are steeped in racism, stereotypes, ignorance, prejudice, resentment and bitterness. People thinking that they can solve hundreds of years of marginalization and generations worth of trauma in 1 paragraph. This over simplification of such a complex situation is tired and trite. I've heard it a hundred times before but it always sounds the same.

As someone who has been on many reserves and lived on one, I can tell you one thing: This is happening all across Canada and has been happening for a very long time. It is happening a few miles outside of your town or outside of your city. You may even drive on a highway that goes through or around a reserve and from afar you may see the houses. From afar, they may look in decent shape. But try living in one, and you will find out otherwise. Houses on reserves are built with the cheapest materials. Just ask Mike Holmes.

I don't know what it is going to take for people to see that just beyond the city limits is a 3rd world nation suffering and being ignored by the Government of Canada. Perhaps, Attawapiskat will open some eyes. I suspect that it won't be until some small child freezes to death before we get a meaningful reaction out of the Harper government.

I Call 'em Like I See 'em

Sara Quin, of Tegan and Sara fame, recently wrote an amazing letter which echoes the sentiments of many people. She asked, "When will misogynistic and homophobic ranting and raving result in meaningful repercussions in the entertainment industry?" Her whole letter can be found here

a call for change

When will misogynistic and homophobic ranting and raving result in meaningful repercussions in the entertainment industry? When will they be treated with the same seriousness as racist and anti-Semitic offenses? While an artist who can barely get a sentence fragment out without using homophobic slurs is celebrated on the cover of every magazine, blog and newspaper, I’m disheartened that any self-respecting human being could stand in support with a message so vile.

As journalists and colleagues defend, excuse and congratulate ‘Tyler, the Creator,’ I find it impossible not to comment. In any other industry would I be expected to tolerate, overlook and find deeper meaning in this kid’s sickening rhetoric? Why should I care about this music or its “brilliance” when the message is so repulsive and irresponsible? There is much that upsets me in this world, and this certainly isn’t the first time I’ve drafted an open letter or complaint, but in the past I’ve found an opinion – some like-minded commentary – that let me rest assured that my outrage, my voice, had been accounted for. Not this time.

If any of the bands whose records are held in similar esteem as Goblin had lyrics littered with rape fantasies and slurs, would they be labeled hate mongers? I realize I could ask that question of DOZENS of other artists, but is Tyler exempt because people are afraid of the backlash? The inevitable claim that detractors are being racist, or the brush-off that not “getting it” would indicate that you’re “old” (or a faggot)? Because, the more I think about it, the more I think people don’t actually want to go up against this particular bully because he’s popular. Who sticks up for women and gay people now? It seems entirely uncool to do so in the indie rock world, and I’ll argue that point with ANYONE.

No genre is without its controversial and offensive characters- I’m not naive. I’ve asked myself a thousand times why this is pushing me over the edge. Maybe it’s the access to him (his grotesque twitter, etc). Maybe it’s because I’m a human being, both a girl and a lesbian. Maybe it’s because my mom has spent her whole adult life working with teenage girls who were victims of sexual assault. Maybe it’s because in this case I don’t think race or class actually has anything to do with his hateful message but has EVERYTHING to do with why everyone refuses to admonish him for that message.

It is not without great hesitation and hand wringing that I enter into the discourse about Tyler, the media who glorifies and excuses misogyny and homophobia, and the community of artists that doesn’t seem remotely bothered by it. I can only hope that someone reading this might be inspired to speak out. At the very least, I will know that my voice is on record.

skq

For those too busy to read the letter, basically, she takes issue with performers and artists who are using misogynistic and homophobic lyrics without repercussions, without being questioned or without being called out for their offensive message. In fact, many of these artists are being lauded for their vision and their talent. While, yes, they may have talent, does that mean we should excuse their prejudices and degradations?

I feel the same way about people who want to excuse Roman Polanski of his raping a 13 year old girl just because he's made some amazing movies. As if their talent outweighs any harm they bring unto others. Any offenses they may commit seem to be wiped from the slate and they are granted forgiveness because of their genius. Or, worse, in some cases they may even be encouraged for their abhorrent behaviour.

I agree 100% with what she has written and it has inspired me to write this as well.

But...

I want to know why Tegan and Sara use American Apparel products for their merchandise if Sara has specifically said, "I’m disheartened that any self-respecting human being could stand in support with a message so vile." I am not doubting Sara's commitment to her message. I only want to point out that it is hard to support Tegan and Sara financially without supporting someone like Dov Charney, the founder and CEO of American Apparel , who has made himself famous with quote after reprehensible quote, spewing misogynistic proclamations in many of his interviews.

Not sure what quotes I'm talking about? Read 'em and weep:

“Women initiate most domestic violence (claims)…and this has made a victim of culture out of women.”—Dov Charney

“Feminism is extremely restrictive. You cant call a woman a bitch, you can't call her this, you can't call her that. But that's what life's really like. Yet, she can do whatever she wants. It's out of balance and that's why young people haven't embraced feminism, because it's out of balance.”—Dov Charney

So, as much as I support Sara's message I can't actually support Tegan and Sara's band, monetarily, by buying their merchandise because I would be doing exactly what Sara has admonished in her letter.

I would love if they decided to go through a different merchandiser but I know that good quality, sweat shop free products are hard to find. Until they decide to switch their supplier, I am happy spreading Sara's message of holding public figures (artists and CEOs alike) accountable for derogatory and offensive statements, even if it means I can't wear a cool Tegan and Sara hoodie.

Shannon

P.S. I'm aware of the lawsuits filed against Dov Charney for sexual harassment but decided not to include them in this as I would prefer his own words be my evidence of his character.

P.P.S. I also purposely decided not to include pictures of anyone I mentioned in this article because, again, I wanted the words to speak for themselves.

The Hyphen

Last night, while out at the bar with a couple of my friends, our waitress tested me.

She said, as she conversed with our table, "My family is Scottish..." and I refrained from looking shocked. Shocked because she's a POC (Person of Colour) or perhaps you prefer the term Visibly Monitory. She said it with all the casualness in the world and because, so many times, have I said I'm Native and people look stunned and in disbelief, I wanted to respond with a casual acknowledgment of her statement.

I'll admit, sometimes I like when people look stunned because I know it's surprising to some people since I'm so pale. But I've resented when people didn't believe me or questioned it. No, I'm not trying to punk you. No, I'm not lying. Yes, here is my treaty card as proof. Sure, go ahead and decipher my facial features to see if you can find my Native heritage. It's cool.

Side by side comparison to make it easier on you

In the past, Mixed Race was sometimes looked on as a solution to a problem. For example, A.O Neville, the Chief Protector of Aborigines in Australia until 1940 and made well known by the movie "Rabbit Proof Fence", systematically enforced the practice of removing "Half Caste" Aborigines from their parents in order to lessen their contact with other Aborigines and encourage "biological absorption". I look in the mirror and wonder...have I been biologically absorbed? But...that can't be because, although I look white, I identify much more with being Native. But, perhaps Mr. Neville would've thought that I had been biologically absorbed successfully as most would never guess my Native heritage unless they knew what to look for.

Then I think of it from the other perspective. Has my Native DNA tainted my Caucasion DNA? Is there no redemption of my lineage now that I am Mixed Race? Is this a case of the One Drop rule? Honestly, I don't care. But there are people who cared about these things and still do. It was not that long ago when governments and society were trying to figure out where Mixed Race people fit. In fact, many of the decisions made by yesteryear's racists, white supremacists and eugenicists are still affecting People of Colour and their right's today. For example, the issue of Virginia Natives trying to gain recognition as a tribe. Even my own treaty rights rested on a very precarious balance as one of the only reasons I got them was due to my mom being Caucasian and my dad being Native. Native women and their children lost their treaty rights when they "married out". This was amended in 1985 (the year of my birth) but still affects many people, especially their grandchildren who don't get treaty rights or status despite the amendment.

One of my favourite insights into being Mixed Race is the short film by Vin Diesel called Multi-Facial, which deals with him struggling at auditions to be what they expect him to be. I have included it (in two parts) below:





I'm not an actress. I don't face these challenges professionally but I think many people of Mixed Race deal with the reality of not filling the role you are expected to fill. Either being too this or not enough of that and society looking at you and trying to figure out what stereotype is more fitting for you. Personally, I enjoy not fitting into any of molds that have been cast for me. When I catch someone off guard because I am paler than they thought a Cree person would be, I am happy. I've made them question their own reality by introducing them to mine. And last night, I was happy to be on the other side of that interaction when the waitress made me question my own preconceived notions.

Why I Vote

Did you know we're having an election here in Canada? Well...we are! May 2nd!

This is going to be a short entry but I just wanted to a write a little something.

I don't care why you vote, who you vote for or how you get there. You could drive a Hummer, throwing Styrofoam cups out the window and blasting Miley Cyrus all the way there and vote for anyone. That's cool. You know why? Cause I'm just glad you voted.

But I wanted to explain why voting is important to me.

It wasn't that long ago that someone in my position didn't get to vote in the election. I'm not talking about being a woman. Women had the right to vote in Canadian elections in 1919. What is more disturbing to me is knowing that it wasn't until 1960 that aboriginals finally got the right to vote. In fact, before 1960, if a native person wanted to vote they had to give up their treaty rights and their Indian Status to do so.

I listen to music from the 1960s! I watch shows from the 1960s! I own CLOTHES from the 1960s! The 1960s was not that long ago. It is insane to me that within many of my relative's lifetimes, they were legally not allowed to vote.

Why is voting important to me? Besides all the obvious reasons, it's because I know that it wasn't that long ago when my family and ancestors was denied the right to cast a ballot. Denied the right to control their future. How many people's voices were lost in every election before 1960? How many chose to have their voices heard and lost their treaty rights to do so?

Women and children first

I think we're all familiar with the phrase, "Women and children first", also known as the "Birkenhead Drill". It's a maritime tradition (though, not a law) that in the event of a disaster, women and children get priority when loading up the life boats. Though it's been around since at least 1860 it became more well known after the sinking of the Titanic.

Now, with the US Government voting on whether or not to defund Planner Parenthood, "Women and children first" is taking on a whole new meaning. The sinking ship is now the US and instead of trying to save those vulnerable to the recession, it's kicking them in the fucking teeth. Or, as Nancy Pelosi put it, "it's the most comprehensive and radical assault on women's health in our lifetime."

Great interpretation of the events happening in the US

I'm not American. I'm not 100% educated on sexual reproductive laws in the US. But reading about all the politicians who are launching this attack on women's rights in the US is frustrating the hell out of me. How does cutting funding to a program that provides check ups, birth control and, yes, even abortions, help decrease the deficit? By cutting jobs and cutting access to products and services that prevent unplanned pregnancies and prevent or help detect sexual health issues, the deficit will only grow. Sure, they may see an immediate gain but it will only take a few years for that gain to reverse. It will reverse as more health issues go undetected for longer like cancer and STIs and the government finds themselves paying for it in the long run.

You have a choice...until they try to take that away too.

I keep picturing the US as a sinking ship in the ocean...and instead of offering up a seat in the lifeboat, I see politicians throwing the women and children overboard, hoping against hope that this last minute jettison will lighten the load up long enough so that the ship doesn't sink.

It's women and children first, alright. First to the chopping block.

Godzilla vs. Titantic...I knew it!

I had to post this last picture because I was getting bitchy thinking about the whole stupid "Let's take away women's rights but pretend it's a financial issue instead of just an oppressive regime to pander to our conservative constituents" topic.

"To take your chance in the thick of a rush, with firing all about,
Is nothing so bad when you've cover to 'and, an' leave an' likin’ to shout;
But to stand an’ be still to the Birken’ead drill is a damn tough bullet to chew,
An’ they done it, the Jollies - 'Er Majesty’s Jollies - soldier an' sailor too!
Their work was done when it 'adn’t begun; they was younger nor me an' you;
Their choice it was plain between drownin' in 'eaps an' bein' mopped by the screw,
So they stood an' was still to the Birken'ead drill, soldier an' sailor too!" - Rudyard Kipling

Goals

I know it's traditional to have goals and resolutions at the beginning of the year but I've always believed one should be making goals constantly and hopefully be achieving them on a consistent basis as well.

These aren't goal for the year 2011. They are just simply goals for my life. It's not about feeling bad for who I am currently and needing to change that. I love my life and I love who I am. I'm just aware of the areas that I could improve and, for one reason or another, haven't.

So, without further ado, here are my Goals.

1. Recycle. I have the means. I have the know-how. It's time I get serious about it
2. Get my learners license. Being able to drive means camping and IKEA trips
3. Work out more often or...like...at all. I pay high rent to have access to a gym and pool. Time to start using it
   
4. Start a secondary blog - food/fashion/whatever. One with a very specific direction
5. Don't let the kitchen get insanely messy
   
6. Be on time for work 4/5 days a week
   
7. Start carrying change in my pocket to give to homeless people but also start donating more
8. Join a group/team/association
   
9. Get rid of 40% of my clothes. I have too many that I only wear once a year
10. Get some plants for around the house
11. Plant lots of herbs this summer
12. Take more risks
13. Finish upgrading
14. Apply for University
15. Play "Just Dance 2!" more often haha
16. Keep making new friends and discovering old ones
17. Wear red/yellow/orange/green more often
18. Watch more classic movies

Yay for skinny chicks who like baggy clothes

If it weren't for the baggy, boho trend, I wouldn't be able to shop at stores like H&M or Anthropologie. These stores, whom I both love dearly (though Anthro is stupid expensive, so I only love when it's on sale) do not cater to my size (Dress size US 22) but thanks to loose fit and draping styles, I can finally find a few cool items.



When something meant to be baggy on a skinny girl fits me perfectly, I am always reminded of the above scene from "The Simpsons".

It takes a lot of hunting but it's totally worth it. Of course, I can shop online but I never know how something is going to fit until I try it on.

If it's dreamy, romantic or dainty - odds are I will LOVE it.

Anthropologie

As time goes on, I find I'm actually not shopping at the stores that are suppose to cater to my size. I haven't bought anything from Addition Elle in over a year and it's no wonder. They keep pumping out the same, shapeless, safe crap. I use to love them back when there was nothing else to choose from, because shopping there wasn't a struggle. But, I find, as my tastes become more defined and lean more towards my bright and eccentric side, I have less in common with whoever Addition Elle is marketing too.

This is about as *edgy* as Addition Elle gets

I know it's old fashioned but I have a hard time buying online. I'm sure every woman in every size range has this issue but I absolutely need to try on. I need to walk around in something, see how it hangs, how it fits, how it compliments. So, as happy as I am that stores like H&M and Forever21 are branching out to include plus sizes online, I don't think I'll start doing cartwheels until I see those sizes in stores in my city. Besides, often times those plus size online only deals don't even ship to Canada.

In the end, I find myself in a niche. With shops like Penningtons, Addition Elle (and their "fashion tops") and Cotton Ginny failing to meet the needs of a plus size shopper who doesn't want to look like a soccer mom but instead wanting to look like the young, concert going, eclectic girl that I am.

Domino Dollhouse party dress

I am not completely anti-online. Torrid has lots of options from different styles and I've ordered with success from them more than once. A new favourite, who I have yet to order from, is Domino Dollhouse. Funky and bright, there isn't a single bashful item in their store. While so many plus size stores seem to encouraging hiding your body and bringing as little attention to yourself as possible (henceforth known as Chameleon Clothing), there seems to be some designers and sellers who aren't afraid of being looked at like my style icon, Beth Ditto. It's not that I want to dress like Beth Ditto, just that I think everyone should feel as comfortable in their own skin as she does.

Who rocked it better?

I don't plan on my blog being strictly about fashion. I love far too many things to devout myself to writing only about that. However, it has been the theme lately, hasn't it? Honestly, I just write about whatever strikes my fancy randomly. Sometimes those are long, ranting posts about issues such as feminism and sexuality. Other times, I just want to look at nice clothes.

So, without further delay, I want to ask you something: Who rocked this dress better?

Carina Roitfeld



or Florence Welch



These are both from Givency's 2011 Spring/Summer collection. I am trying not to be biased (I absolutely love Florence and The Machine) but I think I do like her dress more. I just wish it was a crisp white like Carine's instead of being all smoke stained looking, as if it had been sitting on a rack in the sun of a smokey old house for a decade. Perhaps that is suppose to be champagne colour. Perhaps the lighting is bad. I just know it looks off.

What do you think? Maybe you hate them both (maybe swans aren't your thing haha)

"Carrots..."

If you ever read/watched Anne of Green Gables, you might get the reference in my title of this post. I am a big book nerd. I'm not one of those people who are constantly reading though. I sometimes go months without reading and than I start 3-4 books all at the same time. I am reading "The Color Purple", "Titus Andronicus" and "The House of Leaves" right now. I switch books depending on my mood.

You know what else I like to switch? My hair! I've been different shades of brown for over a year now and I figured it was about time to do something a little more interesting. I work in an office (boring) and cannot dye my hair any super cool colours (lame), so I try to dye it crazy enough that I love it but not so crazy that I get fired.

This is the hair colour I started with. Check out the sweet "geek wall" behind me.

I love red hair. I date a red head. I want red headed kids. I can single out a red head in a crowd and whether they are hot or not. So, it's only natural that all this red hair envy manifests itself in me routinely dying my hair red.

It burns us!

I've been bleaching and dying my hair at home since I was in grade 5. First colour I went was electric blue and from than on, I was hooked.

I try not to bleach it too often as I don't want to fry it. I wonder, each time I do it, "is this the time my hair finally just falls out". So far, no.

My hair only ever goes yellow. I'd have to get it professionally done with lots of toner and even than, it'd be an ash dirty blonde. It must be the native in me. Dark eyes and dark hair. Are you ready for the finale?

I love a good change, even if it's a superficial one. This picture doesn't do it justice though. In the light...my hair is orange. Just like carrots :P

Androgyny

A style I've never really aimed to achieve, I find androgyny to be one of the most interesting features in fashion and the media.

Some might think this is a recent trend in fashion but, if you've been watching, you'll know it's been around a lot longer than 2010. Though, it does seem to be coming into the spotlight in 2011, androgyny was huge in the 70's/80's with music artists like Annie Lennox and Boy George being the poster children for it during the 80's. And, of course, we can't forget David Bowie in all his glory during the 70's.



Personally, I've always thought there was something sexy about someone who leaves you guessing. But, than again, I've always dated very macho men (construction workers, poker players, etc haha), so it's possible that androgyny is simply a change of pace from the wide shoulders and 5 o'clock shadows I've grown use too.



Jean Paul Gaultier's use of androgynous models come as no surprise to me, as it seems like the next step in acceptance of different people from all across the spectrum that he seems to extend. In the past he's used plus size models in his show including Velvet d'Amour and punk rock goddess Beth Ditto. It only seemed natural that ended his most recent show with Andrej Prejic, a new but popular male model, in a wedding dress.

Yes, that's a man.

Maybe there's just something fun about playing with people expectations. I think, ultimately, androgynous people lend themselves to artists as a sort of Muse. Here is this person existing between both worlds and, as an artist and creator, you can shift them from one world to the other seamlessly. How amazing is that? Tilda Swinton is a great example of this in movies and film.

As much as I admire it, it's not really a style I've tried to capture for myself. Perhaps it's actually due to my plus size qualities that I try to emphasize my womanly features instead of down playing them. Bringing attention to my hour glass figure instead of hiding it, for example, is a constant battle with clothes. Maybe I just like having boobs far too much.

Adult Decisions

Some days I feel like an adult. I'll call my bank and transfer money into my Tax Free Savings Account and than I'll talk to my renter's insurance provider to renew for another year. Those are the days where I feel assured I've crossed that invisible line into adulthood. I'm twenty five motherfuckin' years old, bitches! I'm all grown up and this is how it is. I have my own library (like..in my apartment), a salary and a cheque book. Get use to it!

Ladies, books don't work through osmosis.

Than I do something like...forget to pay my cell phone bill which explains why I am currently without cellphone service.

Oh shhhiiiiiiiiiiit...

I also feel like I am on the verge of making some semi-adult decisions. I am looking at what it takes for me to enter university as a "mature" student. Many people who will be entering university will be 18-21 while I will be 25 or older when/if I get around to it. It's odd to think I'll be older than most in my class but that kind of makes it less intimidating. I've got some life experience under my belt as well as job experience. But I've also got a full time job and a nice, big rent cheque to write out monthly. I've gotten use to having money for years now (since I was 16) and am not too excited to put all my vacations and shopping on the shelf for 3-4 years while I go to university full time.

I feel my dietician would not agree with this

Don't get me wrong, I see the potential awesomeness in getting some post secondary up in here and I actually love ramen noodles. But...I also love rib eye steak, so you can see how this is going to be a sacrifice for me.

I have one more class I need to upgrade and then I can apply for university. While I look at my options for upgrading that one class, I'll have to start thinking about what kind of degree. English? Fine Arts? Art and Design? Do you sense a theme with the direction I am going in?

I promise you, whatever degree I end up going for, I will not be going to class in Uggs and sweatpants. Fuck that shit! I may be a student but that doesn't mean I'll have to dress like one.

Shannon

Pan Out, Assholes!

Dear whoever makes music videos happen,

I wish you'd stop making videos where plus size performers are only shown as bodiless wonders with only bust shots. Perhaps the creative directors/camera person of these videos could zoom out, so we could get more than a few seconds of body shots of artists who are body proud like Adele and Beth Ditto.

This doesn't happen in all videos, but I've noticed a bit of a trend that disappoints me when I go to watch talented artists in videos which, although beautiful and great quality, come off as static or limited.

For example, Adele's "Cold Shoulder":



Or Gossip's "Heavy Cross" (Not really a "static" video but the few times they do show her body it's dark, unfocused and only a glimpse):



These are just a couple examples and I am sure I could find examples of videos of both artists in which more full body shots are present but it still irks me. This heavy (no pun intended) reliance on face shots just makes me think of a phrase every fat girl gets sick of hearing, "You have such a pretty face" which always seemed to imply, to me, that the rest wasn't pretty. Just the face.

Not only is this insulting it's annoying as all hell. Us plus size women have so few fashion icons, that when you're video only focuses on the face, we don't get a chance to admire, critique and enjoy the fashion statements the performer might be making. In some videos, I don't even know if the artist is wearing pants or a skirt, because every shot of the lower body is either blurry or left behind on some cutting room floor.

So, how about you step back and give us the whole picture. I mean, honestly, it's not like you're somehow tricking us, the audience, into thinking these ladies are a more "marketable" size by only showing their faces.

Sincerely,

Shannon

P.S Just so I'm not a hypocrite here is a recent picture of me legs and all!

I'm the one on the left and, obviously, my twin on the right.

Dave can be funny....sometimes

"The rules for carry on are so strict these days: no liquids, gels or sharp objects. They have full on body scanners. It truly slows one down and the amount of things one can carry are so limited one may as well not have carry on at all. I feel like the true spirit of flight, which the wright brothers unlocked for all of humanity to enjoy, has been dampened, nay! cheapened, by these rules and restrictions. On a totally unrelated note, we need to buy new hair cutting scissors."
-Text I received from Dave today as he transfers flights at Vancouver airport

So classy...in his Flash t-shirt.

Me: I kind of wish Edmonton had got the Expo. It may have put us on the map.
Dave: Yeah and not one of those crappy maps that says "Here Be Dragons".

I Ain't No Hollaback Girl

A recent article written by John DeVore has me thinking about something I've gotten use to ignoring: Catcalling.

As a woman living in a central area of a large city, I should probably just shrug my shoulders and accept that catcalling is the price I pay for choosing to live downtown and walk down any main street. But that kind of passive thinking doesn't lead to change. I know I could walk the back streets, the less populated streets, but then I put myself in a more tangible risk of being mugged or assaulted. So, I walk the most well lit, populated and busy streets when I get off work at 10:30pm or later, every weeknight.

The consequences of my choice and schedule are having random people yell inherently aggressive remarks at me. Even if it's a compliment, anything yelled at a random stranger from a moving vehicle is aggressive in my books. But this hasn't just been an issue for me since moving downtown (which I did when I was 18). It first started as an adolescent. Yes, you read that right, an adolescent. I hadn't even broken the "teens" yet when my sister and I were being verbally attacked by random men in random places. I know we were tall for our age (almost 6 foot by grade 7) but that is not an open invitation to be hit on while walking in public.




I recall being 12 and getting honks from cars while walking down Whyte Ave with my sister. Or the time, when I was 14, and walking past a bar with my sister, best friend and her mother, only to have the bouncer accost us with invites into the bar and hit on us. When my friend's mother yelled "they're only 14!", he replied "even better".

Any weekend I walk down a main street past 11pm, I expect that I am going to be sexually harassed. But, all the advice out there to deter it puts the onus on my behavior: Dress down or in baggy clothes, just ignore it, avoid streets with people or bars, don't make eye contact, don't smile, wear headphones, read a book on the bus/train. Well, fuck that! I shouldn't have to shut out the world, dress plain and pretend something isn't happening just so I can live a somewhat peaceful existence.

It's no wonder someone designed a game based on these encounters, in which a main character (a woman) has the tools necessary to shoot the men who harass her. Do I condone this kind of behavior in real life? Of course not. It's just a game, some might say, but it brings attention to a very real problem.



One action that people (women and men) are taking is to use their camera phone to document lewd or unwanted behavior and post it online at websites such as YouTube or Hollaback. The most disturbing trend I found while reading through the entries on Hollaback is that many of these women feel the need to clarify that they weren't wearing anything provocative. I constantly saw the phrase, "I wasn't showing any skin", "My clothes weren't tight or short, just normal jeans and t-shirt" and other phrases basically trying to explain that they weren't "asking for it". It saddens me that they should even have to add that detail into their narratives. I've only been talking about my experiences with catcalling (though there have been past experiences with physical harassment), but Hollaback also documents sexual harassment which has lead to some men being arrested. For example, a woman had a man arrested for rubbing up against her while his genitals were exposed, an all to common occurrence in the crowded New York subway system.




It wasn't until I started thinking about this topic that I started realizing the extent women go to in order to avoid sexual harassment. I read multiple comments about women pretending to sleep on public transit to shut people out, reading books and using MP3 players as a way to signal their disinterest. While reading up on various forms of public sexual harassment and how women avoid certain scenarios, I thought to myself that I didn't limit myself or change my life in anyway to avoid it. I'm a very confrontational person and not one for avoiding a situation because I prefer to face things head on. That's why I was honestly shocked to realize that even I have changed past behaviors to avoid being hit on or harassed in public. I use to sit in the front seat of cabs because I'm tall and prefer all the extra leg room. But, after a while, I started sitting in the back seat because I was tired of my choice to sit in the front seat being some silent agreement to be hit on by the male drivers. Questions about whether I had a boyfriend or asking why am I so dressed up got tiring and I eventually moved to the backseat where I find myself very invested in texting, just to avoid awkward conversation. Some male cab drivers are honestly just making conversation but I ask myself if the others would ask a guy the same questions they ask me, such as "Oh, you're sure dressed up, are you meeting up with your girlfriend?" I kind of doubt it.




This isn't a matter of not being able to take a compliment. It's the audacity some people have that when a women goes out into public, it must mean she wants to be accosted and berated with what may seem like words of adulation but in fact are tiresome, trite and in, some cases, terribly offensive. When someone demonstrates to me that they cannot control their words, it worries me and makes me ponder what else they can't control. Am I going to have to walk a little faster because this person is now following me? Am I going to have to call the police? Am I going to have to find a place to escape from this person? Where is the nearest stores that's open? These are all thoughts I've had while being "complimented" by random strangers. Feeling like someone's prey is a disturbing experience and should not be an acceptable way to treat anyone, regardless of intention, location or gender.


3:19 Mark - Hilarious bit about a serious subject

Submission and Feminism

I believe that we are all complex creatures full of contradictions and dualities that compliment and oppose each other. Though, in some cases, this dichotomy can lead to conflict. Conflict within ourselves or conflict with those who support only one side of this combination. One such issue within my own personal conflicts is my belief that all people are equal and my affinity for being sexually submissive. I've often wondered can a woman identify sexually as submissive and still consider herself a feminist, without being a hypocrite?

Of course, this is no simple question to answer and I think everyone has different variables to weigh when deciding where they stand on the issue. Perhaps the best step is to start by explaining how I identify with feminism.




Simply put, I believe women are equal to men and deserve to be treated as such. I believe this because I know all people are equal and deserve to be treated as such. We have the right to the same justices and protections. We have an obligation to defend and secure justice for those who cannot do it themselves.



There are those who identify themselves as feminist (1st wave, 2nd wave, 3rd wave, militant - whatever category they feel they fit in best, if any at all) and believe that a woman who participates in submissive sexual behavior, such as Master/slave or BDSM play, is only crippling the progress of womanhood as a whole. There are also those who believe that BDSM is a male-generated form of sexuality and that by participating, a woman is succumbing to this tradition. This was a major issue during the 60s and 70s and lead to conflict between different sects of feminism or some feminists organizations and the pornography industry.



I resent the idea that women who engage in BDSM are doing so because they are conforming to a male generated fantasy. This line of thinking denies women who enjoy BDSM from any credit for discovering what turns them on. It assumes that in a strictly female society, BDSM would not exist. It also furthers the gender stereotype that only woman play the submissive role in the BDSM community when, in fact, it is extremely varied. Not only do some men prefer being the submissive as opposed to dominant but there are many people who switch between both. Of course, this is assuming both genders are involved. BDSM is prevalent in both gay and lesbian communities. Personally, I know that I did not need a man/society/the media to tell me what aroused me. It was inherent. It felt rooted within me, much like the rest of my sexuality. I did not question it but only awaited the time and place to discover and explore this natural affinity. Assuming that a woman can only learn submission from a man/society/the media robs her of any ownership or responsibility of her own sexuality.


There are those who even discourage women being submissive because of their strong conviction that this has an impact on women's progress as a whole. But, if those who believed that truly wanted equality, wouldn't they be encouraging all people not to partake in BDSM, regardless of gender? Or, do they believe it is okay for a man to play that role? In that case, isn't the man enjoying a privilege that has been denied to women by the very people who were trying to ensure their equality? Where is the fairness in that?


I'd argue that my being a strong female has actually helped me develop a healthy perspective on my sexuality and I've channeled this into my preference for being a submissive. Any woman with a poor self esteem or a dysfunctional view of their sexual worth is going to find being a submissive exhausting and unfulfilled. My worth as a human being is not decided on my worth as a sex object. Sure, I may subject myself to what others may consider horrendous treatment and what others may view as submitting to my partner's will. Considering oneself a feminist and also a submissive does not have to be a dichotomous situation. In fact, the juxtaposition of both these traits can strengthen each other. Not only does my knowledge that I am worthy of any person's attention and respect make me a great submissive, but knowing myself so well and owning my sexuality encourages a feeling of wholeness and completeness in the world outside my bedroom.



Some people do not fully comprehend the active communication that goes on between a Dom and sub, even when no words are spoken. It may seem demeaning to an outsider but there is a huge amount of respect and trust exchanged between those involved in a BDSM relationship. Most might assume that it is only the sub who respects their partner, but it truly starts with the Dom earning the sub's respect and consent. And, in the end, it is the sub who holds all the power. The sub can simply utter one word and everything comes to a halt. It may seem odd to those unfamiliar with this subculture that the common credence is "Safe, Sane and Consensual"

My role in feminism is ensuring that my gender is viewed upon with equal regard and respect. That I earn equal pay for equal work and that I enjoy the same rights and privileges that a man may in the same position. That means enjoying the same rights and privileges in my work, my government, my community and my bedroom. If we deny women the right to explore their sexuality because they feel judged, we deny them the ownership of their bodies. If we can vote, run for office and own land, we should be able to own our orgasm too.

My Perceived Life

Sometimes I like to think about how I may be perceived. Not so much as a concern, but more as how my actions, my words and my life looks to an outsider.

Do I care about what others may think? Not really, to be honest. But I like to people watch and speculate about their lives and I assume others may do the same. I know I am probably wrong all of the time. I don't honestly believe I can surmise all that a person is in the few moments it takes for them to walk past me. Mostly it's just fun for me to create these worlds that people may or may not be living.

I don't think I am the only person playing this game. I feel watched (in a not paranoid way haha). I am only curious what kind of worlds people dream up for me. I like that I don't really wear my likes or dislikes visibly. When I dress, it can be very neutral, style wise. I like that my clothes don't necessarily give me away. My shirts don't mention my favourite bands and my shoes don't say I prescribe to any specific type of music. Perhaps if I drove a car, I'd have bumper stickers that let people know what I think, but then again, perhaps not. I like being a bit unknown and having to explore and be explored.

I sometimes wish my thoughts and life style were apparent because I think of all the great people I could be meeting if they only knew we were kindred spirits. But, that's what I love about the internet. My comments, my profiles, my likes and dislikes speak for themselves. Though, I've always disagreed with the idea that people with similar interests are compatible. If that were true, I wouldn't be so annoyed at most of the concerts I go to or the stores I shop in.

I remember the first day I saw Ryan, who is now one of my best friends. I was waiting for the shift to start at work when I worked as an agent in a market research call centre. My sister, who was a supervisor, and I were hanging out in the break room and this dude walks by. Instantly, I wanted to be his friend. He didn't say anything but I just looked at him and I thought, "That dude is going to make me laugh." After years of sitting next to the class clown in school (and usually having a crush on them), I had honed the skill of recognizing one outside of their native habitat. This dude had class clown written all over him. I couldn't explain why or how I knew. I asked my sister what his name was and from then on I had a goal to not just get to know him but to become BFFs. Thankfully, we eventually sat near each other and my instincts/lucky guess were verified.

I'm not sure where I am going with this. I'm curious if other people play this game. Do you wonder how you are perceived or do you think that people can tell what kind of person you are instantly or does it take time to crack the shell and get to know you? I'd guess most of us would like to think we're complex mysterious creatures and no one can truly know us.

Books

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here.
Instructions:

* Copy this
* Bold those books you've read in their entirety.
* Italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read only an excerpt.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shaskespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo


I have this awful habit of starting books and then putting them down to re-read a much loved book. It's not fair to any new books entering my library and I usually do pick them up and start them again...one day. Sometimes I'll get bored in a new novel and turn to a familiar favorite because I know I'll enjoy it where as the new one I am uncertain if I'll end up even liking it. As if, for some reason, I don't want to invest time in a gamble when I can invest it in a sure fire thing.

Perhaps I should make a habit of finishing books I start instead of abandoning them on counters, bed side tables and bookshelves through out my house.


My slowly evolving reading corner when we first moved in.


Most recent photo of my reading area.

The area behind the book shelf is where I plan to really make my library but it's taking time to buy the furniture necessary. Part of the reason it takes so long is I rarely buy furniture new and have a very precise vision in my head and refuse to buy pieces just to "fill" the spots. I'll wait till I find the perfect shelf, chair, table and everything. Until then, I'll suffer with a half finished living room/dining room/library.